Wednesday, November 15, 2006
The road goes ever on and on
Hello! I have returned! But sadly, though things are running for the most part, not all is well altogether. Some things have picked up, other things have been running downwards. It is a continous spiral of events, going round and round and round again. The road goes ever on and on as Tolkien once said and wither does it lead? None can tell.
School life has picked up once again and this is the first time I am feeling the fire of the mountain load of work that has descended upon me. Not that it poses any problem actually and it certainly isn't much stress but when other factors come in, that is when the work load becomes heavier. If you run with a feather, you are light and free. If you run with a feather and a brick is tied to your leg, does the feather not become tiresome also?
Its just that there are so many things to keep track of at once that I am losing my ability to organise and plan my events anymore. Not only is there school work, but there are other areas of life such as friendship connections, the church, my work life, my family and of course time for sleep, fun and relaxation.
How difficult it is to go off to school early and then come back late, already not having time to play and yet still having to focus on subjects. On the other hand, even when travelling, I can receive smses for all different things, work, friends, prayer meetings, bible studies, feedback collection, work from Suntec and also the many other events organised by TP such as the CCM forum and the SPCA talk and flag day. I don't even know which smses are for what anymore, my phone is in a mess.
During the weekends, that is the only time avaliable for work at Suntec or Pan pac, thus naturally I would have to sin up for work on either one of the two days. But at the same time, church also fals on either one of two days and sometimes it takes up both days. With cell group ending late on a friday night, only a few hours of sleep is squeezed in before I work on saturday and then continue rushing on to church. When I come back late on a church sat, and then sun is another fierce day of work.
If I am totally work oriented, I would have already shut out all forms of communication with the people around me, except for my dear classmates whom I see everyday. But fortunately, there is destress, comfort and happiness when talking to friends and having great times of fellowship, so in a way, its good sometimes to set work aside for awhile and just calm down.
Unfortunately, not everything has been smooth thus far. Friendships require effort to maintain and upkeep, work requires initiative, time, effort and committment, school work requires all the emergy I have simply to maintain focus during lectures and to uphold a hardworking and enthusiastic project for my projects and lastly there is the church which I feel has been slipping from me lately. My walk with the Lord seems to be moving further away from me and at the same time, responsibilities have doubled or even tripled compared to the last month.
Everything is contributing a significant amount of stress until a mountain is formed. Where shall I find my rest? In the Lord my God? Yes indeed....but how distant is He from me and where is that presence which I long for but cannot feel?
One step at a time perhaps is good advice and good counsel. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?? THERE IS NO MORE SUCH THINGS AS SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE BECAUSE....THERE IS NO TIME!! I have to settle everything in the fastest time possible...and I mean EVERYTHING!!!
Posted by The Inflamed at 1:43 PM
