Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Where do I go? What do I do?
A muddled sheep in the mountains walks......
And thus have I walked in the shadow for what seems like several years already, for it is like a new era or chapter of my life has begun. School has become more unpleasant....or rather less pleasant for it is still enjoyable, only certain thorns have propped up in the midst of a once smooth field of grass that running barefooted no longer seems like such an enjoyable task.
School is always fun I could say, because of the number of people that I have come to know there, the multitude of familiar faces and also my wonderfully crappish classmates with whom I can behave most naturally: Ah the wondefully crappy, happy and carefree me. I never count a place to be a truly happy one, when it is someplace where I cannot let it all go...the madness, the sheer joy and the explosive fun that belches forth un controllably without warning. There is this very unique and wondrous high-ness that may seem like an aftermath of considerable drug abuse or excessive drinking that just fills me at certain times and a smile just sticks to my face.
School is a wonderfully hilarious place, where my smiles bring new smiles and other smiles bring my own smiles. Everywhere, smiles are reflected back into bigger smiles. There is an aura of joy around my classmates that hardly fails to fill the gaping hole in my empty heart when I am often alone and the joy that seizes me can be so great. Its like...liberty...a free world amongst them where I do not feel any constrain to behave in a way that everyone is expected to conform to. Its happy.
The sad thing? The pain? Is that so many of the subjects now are so incredibly boring. Its quite horrendous to find that I am understanding nothing, and that none of the topics are catching my eye. I can only reserve my applause and deal out my yawns. In anycase, such is a small matter and good companionship is all that I need to survive whatever horrors await me in classrooms and lecture theatres.
In anycase, I also wish to give thanks for good and close friendships, for times of sharing and times of great joy in good company. I think that love amongst friends is really something magical and wonderful. I no longer want to add on all those old and cliche lines that speak of treasuring friendships for they are hard to come by, but rather I wish to praise its wondrous existence...that with good friends, silent companionship, even over the phone can sometimes be such a release from everyday hurts and wounds. It heals. It supports. It helps. It comforts. It delights. It excites. It fills. I think the package is complete.
Give thanks to the Lord for He is Good! Amen!
Posted by The Inflamed at 10:35 PM
