Friday, February 04, 2005
WAR OF THE COCKROACH
Allow me to relate yesterday's events of the War of the Cockroach, henceforth let it be known that yesterday, this legendary battle took place. It is already very late in the night. Shut away in my room, I was chatting with Tsung and at the same time, trying to complete my A maths. When I was sitting at the comp, shock of shocks...a huge cockroach emerged from within a small pile of music cds I kept beside the Tv. Now if you don't already know, next to big green praying mantis and maybe grasshoppers, the only other insect I fear, is the cockroach.
Now this one was huge and equipped with wings. For fear that it would pounce on me, I snatched up a nearby Jotter book and equipped my other hand with a piece of tissue. Fear overcame my desire to have it crushed and I neared it not. Cautiously, my eyes trailed it as it passed the television to the other side of the table. From the surface, it turned over at the bend and so I assumed that it was crawling down toward the floor. When I checked the table side, no cockroach. So weird right?? The bloody insect vanished.
The next thing I did was arm myself with Baygon and started insectisiting my room, especially around and behind the tv where I think it escaped to. I never found it after a half an hour search. During that search, my mind formed images of a huge cockroach at every dark spot in my room...I jumped everytime I thought I saw something small and black move. I was feeling very uneasy as I did not like the idea of an escaped cockroach in my room. In fact, I do not tolerate insects in my room. I name myself "Insect's bane" for I will hunt down and kill every insect that trespasses my private space.
I noticed a hole in at the side of my table, which resulted from not closing the drawers properly. I deeply regretted not crushing it when I had the chance. Now I would have to ravage through the drawers for a live cockroach. I kept opening the drawer and spraying it with Baygon before closing it to trap the insect. After several moments, I could not take it anymore and opened the drawers to remove the vcds in it.
It was then that I found my newest insect killing weapon: Disposable gloves. With those, I could crush any insect in my fist without fear. I equipped them and stationed several pairs of gloves all over the room at various strategic locations. When I removed every last vcd, surprise...no cockroach. I then surmised that it must have fallen to the chest of drawers below. I heard a scratching sound which I thought, confirmed my fears.
I sprayed a fresh layer of Baygon, then shut the drawer once more. I decided to end the sillyness and put the vcds back into the top drawer and collect the dead cockroach sometime the next day. To my shock, when I opened the top drawer...hells of hells...there it was...alive and kicking. I tell you I nearly got a heart attack. As I stumbled back, I was reminded of my new weapons. Seizing one, I cautiously approached the open drawer.
I was really afraid that it would fly out or crawl into the blackness behind the drawer. Yet, the fates were with me for the insect did nothing but crawled about in its "cage". The courage that came with the new weapons shattered as I saw the brown menace upon the white. I knew it was my folly to have such a fear. My eyes fell onto the Baygon but my mind said NO!! In the future, I may not be so lucky as to have a Baygon. I decided to fight fear.
I was so nervous that it took me a few minutes to muster the courage to strike. I inched towards the drawer and I cringed as I saw the thing. I moved back and forth as the clock ticked. Finally, I struck out at the menace. Due to nervousness, my hand struck the table top instead. I stumbled once more and backed off. I mustered up my final courage and struck again, this time I caught it. Joy of joys, the cockroach would now suffer. Angry at the trouble it has caused me, i crushed it hard in my fist and shook it hard in triumph.
The cockroach was still alive, its feelers and legs still moved. But I feared it no more. It was already under my control. I smashed it's upper half onto the floor and so passes the Cockroach, foolish of the more foolish insects who invaded my room. I ban it to all insects. None shall enter while I still live. Crawl about they may, crawl about they might. I may fear them now, but when I have them where I want them, they are mine...
War of the Cockroach: Commemorated to this day, Thursday, 3rd February, nearing midnight.
Signed: Clarence Chue Maow Sheng
Posted by The Inflamed at 7:47 PM
