Tuesday, March 21, 2006
21st March 2006
Thus have I been in the shadows too long already and my mind has been crammed and filled with thoughts ready to burst forth in a terrible hailstorm for I have not written anything of the events in the past two months and have bypassed completely, the Days of Torment.
The Days of Torment have passed and what are they one might ask? It was the month of February, good folks, where all of me, internally, physically and even mentally I have endured much suffering of many sorts, received attacks from many directions and that I have not experienced in a while. Still, the greatness of the storm has moved on and its destuctive power I have cast down and laid waste to so that it may trouble me no more. Alas! The mountain weight upon mind and shoulder has crumbled into the yawning sea! And not too soon for ever I have stood with a hammer and chisel at this great mound of rock and laboured greatly upon it that it may fall and leave me light and free again.
I now sit and rot away in a seat of my own comfort, though my deeds and actions are not of my preferred choice for ever I am unproductive here in a factory where the worker sits and plays foolish games, ranting at the AI, brooding over books of shakespeare and understanding little of it whilst the factory product (my book) is still far from completion. I have been a fool to waste away the time that has been granted to me, even as I wait in boredom, in quiet anticipation while my mind slowly wanders far and wide and is filled with strange thoughts and stranger worries. Everyday passes in a torment if I could say so, and even now I wished I had a school to attend or a job to perform if I am to be able to proudly procliam: I have not done ill with my time for only fools would do so! And by saying so, I am a Dotard, but one who is seeking productive deed.
Now, the clouds of anticipation and looming over me, like a great demon, and all about me I see shadows of doubt and worry. Indeed I am to move forwards, on to the Temasek Poly where the next stage of my education will commence and until now i know little of what to expect, what to see, what to fear and what to wear. It is this great gloom that I fear the most, for there is nothing i can do to break its hold upon me and everyday it becomes stronger and darker and ever I strife to light the torches and cast a spell of light upon myself as a shield against the darkness.
But look here! I have been to drammatical this day as is not my wont! Still I am glad for at last some part of the water trapped behind the dam has been released and the pressure is no longer so great. I feel another weight off, and a delight fills its place for ever do I love to write, in different manners, in different styles and this is no exception.
When I look from the windows at first light, lo! It will be dawn! And the chill grey light with stream in through the windows in the form of many rays. The wind though cold, will be fresh and welcome when it floats in a room long stifled by darkness. the light will be ever welcome! That silver flame...and no sooner do I see then it brightens to gold and then to red and then it flys west, sinking deep into the mountains and all beauty of day shrinks back to unveil the beauty of the night.
But this I will say: Despair not! Do not lose hope! Even the sun, though beaten by darkness rise again, born anew like a ball of fire from the east and away it chases all the wraiths of darkness and as you look from your window can you not see its wings outstretched and flaring? And what lies on those wings but the very fire of HOPE and HOPE is rekindled. Light the torches in the dark and HOPE will come, HOPE, HOPE in the form of light and all things that you hold dear and deem good upon this solid earth! Farewell and take into ponderation my counsel!
Hahaha...sorry ah...just having some fun :P but still, never fall into Despair. There will always be a light in the darkness if you will yourself to see it.
Posted by The Inflamed at 7:30 PM
